Idle Talk - Teaching a Failure.
Extra. Also, extra-long (TLN: No pun intended, that’s what the author said).
My name is Ploum. I became 14 this year and I’m the stable-hand of house Firstest. A stable-hand is the person who takes care of the horses. For an idiot like me to be assigned such a post, no joking, I wasn’t able to work properly the first few weeks. They really were a mess. Even the most basic chores were difficult; I was kicked by a horse, and even beaten by Jast-aniki.
Ahh, Jast-aniki is my superior. He’s like a ‘Stable Master’, well, basically he’s the most important person in the stables. He’s my senior by two years with swept-back brown hair and sharp sanpaku eyes. He’s a terrifying Aniki that would make anyone run away just by looking at him. And also, he’s amazing, after all, he’s a member of 『The Big Four』.
He’s seriously amazing, right? What are The Big Four you ask? Starting off with the Butler Cubero, then the Head Chef Sovra, the Chief Gardener Lilly and lastly the Lead Stable-hand Jast. It’s rumored that each of these four is incredibly dangerous, but I think Aniki is more incredible. Why? Because he’s my Aniki! He’s really cool. I don’t know if it’s because of how he looks, or because he works hard, but in any case, he’s really cool.
……Ohh. And Aniki is the only one who would look after such a sloppy, worthless slave brat like myself. And also, Aniki is the only one who would scold me without getting rid of me――
“Hey, Ploum. What are you doing in the corner of the cafeteria, not even eating? “
“Geeh, Aniki! Please, don’t just peek! Notes, I’m taking notes! “
At some point, it seems Aniki came here without me noticing.
I can’t actually write, you see. That’s why I’m practicing hard right now. I thought it’d be nice if someday I could write something like a biography or something.
However…… I’d be a bit embarrassed if Aniki was to find out about it. That’s why I unintentionally lied as a reflex.
“Huh? Were you writing? “
“……Well, yes. But, even if I’m writing, there are some words I don’t know.”
“For real!? Where did you learn that? “
“My parents taught me when I was nine years.”
“Hoo! You sure had a gifted education. Isn’t that great? I’m sure it was useful.”
It’s a lie that I know how to write. Well, it’s true that my parents taught me. But the fact was, my parents were simply trying to raise my selling price as a slave. Slaves who could read and write were sold at a higher price, so for them, it was an investment.
But when I had learned just a bit of reading and writing, I happened to hear my parents consulting with a slave merchant about selling me as a slave, and I thought ‘This is bad’. Thinking, ‘At this rate, I’ll be sold off’, I ran away from my home and lived in the muddy slums. That’s why I can actually only read and write the a-i-u-e-o. After all, you don’t need to read or write to be a thief. Well, I wasn’t really good so I eventually made a blunder and was caught and became a slave.
……Speaking of which. Right now, I’m a slave, right? Since I’m getting a pretty nice salary, it doesn’t really feel that way.
It’s a miracle, really a miracle. It’s great that I was bought by this house. If you’re a 14 years old brat slave like me, you’re either forced to work until you die, or you’re sold off to some pervert by an under-the-table deal. And if you’re lucky, you’ll end up as the plaything of some noble. I don’t have a great face, so that was impossible for me in the first place.
Eh, wait……? I haven’t really thought about it until now, but thinking carefully, isn’t the House Firstest a bit unusual? Even as a lowly stable-hand I have enough salary, the work isn’t that hard and it’s worth doing, the dormitory for us servants is a mansion, I don’t have to pay for rent or food, and since I’m a slave I don’t have to pay for taxes myself.
Whoa, isn’t this amazing? Almost like a paradise? And if I get this, how much would Aniki and the rest of The Big Four earn? Or rather, why did Aniki end up as a stable-hand in this place? Are Aniki and the other Big Four, slaves the same as me?
…………Eh? If I think about it, I don’t really know anything about Aniki……
“So? Notes about what? “
While I was thinking about various things, Aniki’s voice returned me to what we were talking about previously. Seems like Aniki is surprisingly persistent.
Uwaa, how do I fool him? Nothing really comes to mind. Ahh, no use, I’d look suspicious. Damn, coming to this I’ll just have to lie my way out of this.
“A-Actually……. I was thinking about Aniki and The Big Four…… I’d like to write a biography about you…… but I don’t know where to start.”
Ahh-aah, it’s over. He’ll totally find out. Shame on me. “Don’t come spitting those lies to me,” and then he’ll surely hit me. I bet 10,000 CL he’ll do it.
Aniki then glared at me with those eyes that don’t look like they belong to a 16 years-old. I just closed my eyes involuntarily, clenching my teeth at the same time.
“――Isn’t that a great idea, Ploum!? “
However, what flew towards me weren’t insults nor punches, but excited words.
“My biography, huh? I’m seriously looking forward to it.”
“Y-Yeah. Please, look forward to it.”
“Yeah! Ahh, that’s right, wouldn’t it be better to have an interview? “
“No kidding, you are right. An interview would be great.”
“I know right?!”
How did it end up like this? This is a mess; I’ll have to remember it while pretending to take notes……
“Alright. Ask me anything.”
“Aniki, aren’t you busy with work? “
“Don’t worry. I’m on my break right now.”
Aniki seems to be in a very good mood. He’s all smiles. Is it because of the biography?
……Well, Aniki is happy, I can’t betray his expectations. Holding my hunger, I readied the pen and paper.
“Then, let’s start with, what did you do before coming here? “
“I was a thug.”
“A thug!? “
The first question revealed an astonishing fact! Aniki was a thug! ? This amazing Aniki was!? For real!?
Everything I was thinking about on how to properly do a biography was suddenly blown away as I began to ask further questions.
“So, you were a thug, huh!? “
“Well, I started off as an orphan. But after various things, I went astray and ended up becoming a thug.”
“Ah, so you were one of those slums lookouts? “
“I didn’t have that luxury. I just stole every day; I stole simply to eat that day.”
The same as me. To steal or to be stolen from, to rob or be robbed. A filthy life of trampling over others. That’s what my life was like. That was the only way I knew how to live.
“But I was terrible at it, so I had no choice but to become a slave myself so that I could eat. Well, thinking about the end results, I think that was a good choice.”
As Aniki said those words, his eyes looked towards the distance as he continued.
“And as I was just living there in a shitty cage, depressingly living on, I was suddenly told to get out. It was then that those two took me in.”
“Those two? “
“Second-sama and Yukari-sama.”
Second-sama!? He’s someone an underling like me hasn’t seen yet, our Master. Yukari-sama is the household chief maid so I’ve seen her a few times, but I’ve never spoken to her. For someone like me, they are like heavenly beings. Wow, Aniki met those two face-to-face. Like I said, Aniki is great.
“They had an impressive aura. I could do nothing but feel overwhelmed. I was even trembling like a new-born slime.”
“Are you serious! ? Aniki was!? “
“Yeah. Silvia-sama and Eko-sama are outrageous, but those two are on a whole other level.”
Aniki’s face smiled broadly. Thinking about it, everyone was the same. When they talk about those four of house Firstest, they often somehow end up with a happy face. Just like when you’d talk about your best friends.
……I’m sure it was envy. That’s why I said what I said next.
“But Aniki, you’re incredible too. I mean, aren’t you in The Big Four? Maybe you won’t even lose to Second-sama if you-ughh――”
The next moment, Aniki’s clenched fist hit my belly.
“Uh…. Kah..! “
I can’t breathe!
“Hey, Ploum. I know you’re an idiot and you’re just speaking without thinking. But you need to know there are things that can be forgiven and things that can’t.”
“No matter for whatever reason it is, even if it’s a joke, you need to always respect your master. It doesn’t matter if you think your Aniki is better. That’s a huge mistake, but people are human, so it can’t be helped that we make mistakes. However, you must never say it. It’s fucking irritating.”
“Well, I understand it’s hard to show respect to someone you haven’t met before. However…… remember that you, me, and everyone in this house have a huge debt of gratitude towards him.”
Ahh, it’s just like Aniki says. I was stupid. I wasn’t thinking at all. It’s obvious to be irritated if someone spoke like that about someone you like. I would be the same if someone spoke about Aniki like that. I might even take matters into my own hands.
Well, but even with this……I still like Aniki. I like Aniki who scolds me like this.
“I’m very sorry, Aniki……! “
“What? Why are you crying for? Really!? Aren’t you an idiot!? God, you’re pathetic! “
He’s a bully, has a bad mouth and is quick to violence, but Aniki was the first person I met here. I want to follow him for the rest of my life.
I’m just a stupid guy, but still, I want to follow Aniki. Therefore, while I still think of it as “Since Aniki respects him, I will too”, I decided to respect Master. After all, what Aniki says is absolute.
However, that impression of his is too big for me to imagine it. I’m sure he’s an amazing person, but right now I don’t really get it. Somehow it feels like when people say “Because God created this world, you need to pray to him”. I’ve never seen or met God, so I don’t really feel like believing in him.
However, I wonder why Aniki respects him that much? Maybe The Big Four are the same?
Suddenly, I became interested in Master. A man who gathers so much respect from such fierce and strong men. I wonder how incredible of a person is he. Since, unlike God, I can actually meet him, I should be able to find out. However, I don’t think I’ll have an opportunity to see him. What should I do?
“Alright, then my interview is over. How about going to Lilly-chan’s place tomorrow? He will continue with the story.”
“……! Okay, thank you! “
That’s right, I can hear about Master from The Big Four!
“You’re amazing, Aniki! “
“What? Ah, sure.”
- HP Hit Points
- MP Magic Points
- SP Stamina Points
- STR Short range attack skill power, strength, physical power.
- DEX Long range attack skill power, dexterity, hit rate.
- AGI Quickness, avoidance rate.
- INT Attack Magic skill power.
- LUK Good luck, critical rate.
- VIT Simple defense.
- MGR Magic defense.
Types of combat skills
Named after shogi pieces (The word in bold is the one being used in this translation). From easier to acquire to harder.
- Pawn/Soldier (Fuhyou)
- Knight (Keima)
- Silver General (Ginshou)
- Gold General (Kinshou)
- Bishop (Kakugyou)
- Rook (Hisha)
- Promoted Bishop/Dragon Horse(Ryuuma)
- Promoted Rook/Dragon King (Ryuuou).
List of Swordsmanship skills
- 《Soldier Swordsmanship》 Normal attack.
- 《Lance Swordsmanship》 Piercing attack.
- 《Knight Swordsmanship》 Precision attack.
- 《Silver Swordsmanship》 Strong single-target attack.
- 《Gold Swordsmanship》 Small-range attack to all directions.
- 《Bishop Swordsmanship》 ???
- 《Rook Swordsmanship》 ???
- 《Dragon Horse Swordsmanship》 ???
- 《Dragon King Swordsmanship》 ???
List of Shieldmanship skills
- 《Soldier Shieldmanship》 Normal defense.
- 《Lance Shieldmanship》 Piercing deflection.
- 《Knight Shieldmanship》 Defense + knockback.
- 《Silver Shieldmanship》 ???
- 《Gold Shieldmanship》 Ranged guided defense + knockback.
- 《Bishop Shieldmanship》 Reinforced defense (Temporarily boosts VIT and MGR)
- 《Rook Shieldmanship》 ???
- 《Dragon Horse Shieldmanship》 ???
- 《Dragon King Shieldmanship》 ???
List of Archery skills
- 《Soldier Archery》 Normal range attack.
- 《Lance Archery》 Piercing range attack.
- 《Knight Archery》 Precise sniping range attack.
- 《Silver Archery》 Strong single-target range attack.
- 《Gold Archery》 Weaker range attack with added knockback.
- 《Bishop Archery》 Strong piercing range attack.
- 《Rook Archery》 Very strong single-target range attack with scaling % damage.
- 《Dragon Horse Archery》 Powerful piercing range attack.
- 《Dragon King Archery》 Powerful on-impact range attack.
Types of Magic skills
They use the “Form” or “step” system of martial arts. From lower to higher.
- First Form Regular attack
- Second Form Extended range attack
- Third Form Strong single target attack
- Fourth Form Strong extended range attack
- Fifth Form Extremely powerful extended range attack
- Their cast time becomes longer in this order First→Third→Second→Fourth→Fifth.
Ranking of the skills
From lower to higher, then it changes to the “Dan” system of martial arts, which means Grade.
- 16th class
- 15th class
- 14th class
- 13th class
- 12h class
- 11th class
- 10th class
- 9th class
- 8th class
- 7th class
- 6th class
- 5th class
- 4th class
- 3rd class
- 2nd class
- 1st class
- Grade 1
- Grade 2
- Grade 3
- Grade 4
- Grade 5
- Grade 6
- Grade 7
- Grade 8
- Grade 9