Only I know that this world will end – 081 | Sousaku – 創作

In a dimly lit room ②

　The first thing that caught his eye was the structure of the room, which was built the same as the hospital room where Akira spent his time.
　The curtains in front of the entrance door were open and a half-moon in the night sky was visible outside the window.
　In that room, illuminated by emergency lights, Akira found Nao sitting on the bed, hugging her knees.

"Nao-san."

　In a small whisper, Akira called out.
　Then, her expression, which had been staring at the entrance as if frightened, softened just a little.
　It was probably because she realized that it was Akira who came into the room.
　After a big sigh, Nao opened her mouth.


"……Ichijou, huh? I'm sorry, please close the door. Right now, it makes me feel safer."


　At these words, Akira looked over to Karube.
　Karube must also be aware of Nao's condition.
　With a small bow, he closed the door and disappeared.


　Akira slowly approached Nao and sat down on the bed.
　Then, he looked down, staring at his hands.
　The words he should say to her kept popping into his head and then disappearing.
　The words that rose to his throat did not take form, and the room was filled only with small sighs let out repeatedly as he gazed at her expression and then back down to his hands again.

　And so it went on for a few minutes as both parties remained silent.

　In the heavy room, Nao was the first to open her mouth.


"…………You are amazing."


　It was a small slipped remark.
　Nao stared at the empty space and blurted out a few more words.


"You have died many times and gotten back up again. No matter how painful or agonizing it was, you kept moving on to the next thing. You are strong."
"……You're wrong. I'm not strong. I too have run away from this world. I gave up on everything, saying I couldn't do it anymore. But Nao-san, you were there for me at that time…… and that's why I am here now. It was because you, Nao-san, told me then that you would be there for me that I was able to stand up again."
"Me? "

　In a small gesture, Nao's lips pursed in a strained smile.


"I don't know about that."

　Nao then let these words out with a sigh.

　It's no wonder she didn't know.
　Because it was not the present Nao who said those words to him.


"But still, you certainly did."
"If I did, well, I didn't know about it. About the death. How hard it could be to live in this world. I had no idea how hard and painful it was to just stand up. That's why I was irresponsible enough to tell you that."

　After saying this, Nao held her tongue for a moment.
　Then slowly shaking her head and covering her face, she mumbled.


"……Sorry. I never intended to say this. I knew you were saved by my words…… I didn't mean to say this. I'm sorry………… Really, I'm sorry……"


　It was as if her voice was so tiny that it seemed to disappear from the scene.
　Nao remained still and downcast, unwilling to move.

　Akira stared at her, and bit his lip hard.
　Her figure, huddled on her knees and looking down, was so thin that it looked as if it would snap in a flash if he hugged her. The slenderness of her shoulders, which he had forgotten because he was usually by her side, stood out even more in this room illuminated by the emergency lights.

　Nao mumbled, as if confessing her sins with her face downcast.

"……I tried to use my magic on the Killer Bee that I saw as soon as I woke up. But I couldn't. I couldn't speak…………"

　Nao hugged herself tightly.
　Nao tried to hold down her trembling body as she weaved her words.

"When I see the monsters, I have flashbacks to right before I died. I can't help but recall that pain, that fear, that suffering. It hurts like an aching wound that shouldn't be there!!　……And I can't help but think. That I would die like that again."
"…………Nao-san."
"I'm scared. I'm scared already. I'm scared of monsters. I am scared of dying. I am scared of remembering all of that. Everything in this world is out of control and horrible! "

　Akira bit his lip more tightly than before and closed his eyes at the words that were being whispered.
　Because he could feel her fear so clearly.
　For he knew that her heart was broken to pieces from which she might never recover.

　――――But what about Ichijou Akira?

　For Nanase Nao's sake, he wanted to end this repetition as quickly as possible.
　The only person who has to die now should be me, he thought.
　He could not let her experience death ever again.

　He let out a slow sigh.
　Then, he clenched his fists tightly and cast his gaze toward Nao.


"Nao-san. From now on you will have to see that disgusting sight twice, no, maybe three times. Possibly, you'll have to see it even more than that. And then, when it's over, you'll go back out on the streets with me. No matter how much I hate it, I have to drag you along. Otherwise, this 'scenario' will never end."

　Firm and hard. He muttered, clenching his fists.
　Akira uttered those words, knowing how harsh they were to her, but knowing that he had to.


"I'm the only one that needs to die. Nao-san, you can just stay here and wait. However, you'll only see the monsters when I come back from death………… sorry. Please be patient. I'll try as much as possible not to go back from death, but it depends on how strong the boss is."


　Nao just continued to listen to his words in silence.
　Then, after Akira finished, after a long silence, she asked.


"……Why don't you just give up? "

　Akira laughed a little at these words.


"I can't give up before I've even started. Well, because someone taught me that."


　Nao's eyes widen slightly at these words.
　Then, immediately, her eyes went down and her expression became emotionally unreadable, and she just said one sentence.

"……I see."

　She simply mumbled that to herself.