Real talk.

/ Kari

Hi everyone.

As you might’ve noticed, I’ve been slowing down quite a bit since this year started.

I wanted to talk about that.

Actually, I don’t want to talk about that, but I was told that doing this would be a good thing, so here I am.

For all the new people, Hi! My name is Kari! Pleased to meet you (read your comments). I started doing this a little over a year now, in october of 2017 and I’ve always found fun in sharing the stories I translate.

I love reading your comments, feeling that someone is grateful for something I do.

For those who don’t know, I’m 33 years old and I recently opened a store, truly with your help and the help of my patreons.

Opening the store led to some changes on my life, not really bad ones, one the contrary, really good ones, since I got to spend more time with my family (I’m closer to them than before). But that also led to some bad experiences.

Now, for the reason why I’ve been slowing down, the short answer is depression.

It’s been a little over a month since I started going to the psychologist to treat it.

It’s been very hard these past months, I’ve lost all motivation. I’ve been sleeping for over ten hours each day. I havent eaten properly since god knows when. I havent opened the store many times.

In short I’ve been feeling lost.

Enough to say that I havent had the motivation to do translations either. I really want to, I love to, but sometimes I just can’t.

Depression is hard to explain, at least for me. I’ve talked to friends and they cheer on me and such, but even so… sometimes I just want to stay on bed and let the days go by.

I dont want pills that mess with my emotional state, so I declined medical treatment. What I’ve been doing are therapy sessions with my psichologist. It’s been slow, but I feel like I’ve been improving a little from what I was before.

I talked with her about you, about my followers here, those of you who enjoy what I do and this is something she told me to try. To simply talk to you, to not run away and tell you the reasons why I have been lost.

I cant keep running away from everything. I promise you I’ll try my best to overcome this.

Work aside, this too was a responsability I took when I started translating. I dont want to just suddenly drop translating.

Also, thank you. I thank all of you who go out of your way to write a comment. I’m also a reader of novels and most often than not I dont comment. So I really appreciate it.

Thank to my patreons, current and past ones. You’ve given me more than I deserve, but it’s also thanks to you that I’ve been able to keep moving forward.

And thank you, yes, you, for reading this post. For letting me share my feelings with you.

Oh god, I’m crying…

And this isnt even emotional…

I’ll give my best, please bear with me. I’ll try to deliver more chapters soon.

In the meantime, I got a couple chapters done, so I’ll post them.

I’m sorry, and thanks.

27 thoughts on “Real talk.”

  1. Pingback: High Spec Village – Chapter 74 | Sousaku – 創作 – We Create!

  2. Pingback: Moto Sekai Ichi – 004 | Sousaku – 創作 – We Create!

  3. Thanks for the update its fine if you need to slow down to take care of yourself. Thank you for translating, i quite enjoy High Spec Village. I hope you feel better and i wish your store success.

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  4. Be strong and take your time, you don’t have to force yourself to translate. And I hope you can find something to take your mind out of your current status. I wish you happy and good things Kari

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  8. Just know you’re not alone. I’m glad you put virtual pen to paper to let out what’s going on. INot to get it out to others, but for yourself and to reflect on your journey.

    I’ve been through similar hardships, certainly not the same, and also appreciate trying to cope with minimal to no medication if you can help it. I hope your professional treatment goes well, and wish you all the best in finding your way.

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  11. Thanks for the hardwork! 🙂
    It’s okay to slow down and refresh your mind & feelings.
    Don’t forget that you start translating novels because you love doing it, so don’t think of it as an obligation to the point it makes you feels bad when you have to take it slow no matter what the reasons. 🙂
    Wish you a good luck & all the best! 😀

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  12. Whew. Depression will take time to be dealt with, it’s actually great that you noticed it and made steps to dealing with it.
    Thank you for all you’ve done and still are doing for us! ^_^
    Don’t worry and take your time, you should make yourself more comfortable especially since you are having depression. Forcing yourself and adding more things to think about can be detrimental but well, it depends I guess. well, your psychologist will be saying the things to look out for. Hope you can feel better.. 😉
    Good luck and wishing you the best!! 🙂

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  13. I… can understand depression, calling it difficult isn’t the right answer, but it is definitely not easy to just ‘get over’.
    take your time, move at a pace you think works, set small goals, like getting out of bed, or making a sandwich. it doesn’t have to be big. move forward a little at a time, if you need a break, take one, we can and will wait.

    I hope you are able to move forward and I sincerely hope you feel better.

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  14. Kari, thank you not only for telling us but for acknowledging, expressing, and seeking help. Depression is really difficult to deal with. Often enough it goes untreated for a long time because they don’t want to talk about it. There is no need to apologize, you and your health come first! Little steps at a time. Take your time and do it at your own pace!

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  15. The most important is the translator, not the translation.

    I hope you’ll get well better soon, in fact….. I order you to get really well and recover soon. It isn’t a bad order at all….. 😉 Best wishes from another continent.

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  16. Take your time to get everything in order again… translations can wait or be slow as long as the one translating them is feeling fine or in case they aren’t then I do hope that they’d take the time as you have to try and get better. I think many things in life are much like rules in the case of “Rules are dead, and people are alive” in that no matter what it is about, in the end it’s the people that matter, in the case of translations, it’s you the translations that matter (don’t get me wrong, I do still care about the actual work that you as a translator do (on the other hand would one be a translator if they didn’t translate… hmm…)

    But yeah, hope you’ll get better and sorry for some of the random ramble in the bits up there ^^

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  18. Amigo ten fuerza, te deseo pronta recuperacion y te agradesco el esfuerzo que tomas por traducir estas historias. No estas solo amigo ten fe. Eso ayuda…

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  19. New guy here, probably will be a reg at this point on. I just want to voice out my opinion. Dude, if you want to say something say it. Be honest. We’ll probably be here hopefully with answers or at least offer words of support for all it’s worth.

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  20. Don’t know if u are still reading this but I wanna say this.
    Don’t give up. Depression is a state of mind. Not a medical condition. I’ve been depressed many times but what i find always helps is going out for 1-2 hour walks or jogs in the morning sun. Sometimes i go with my dad and I enjoy that. Sometimes being stuck to a certain cycle or schedule can really get you down. Try changing up your lifestyle it may help you figure out what exactly is getting you down.
    Sure change is scary and personally i hate change. However, sometimes change can make things alot better. More than you would realise too. But hey everyone is different. Try different things, change your diet, do something weird and exciting. Figure out what works best for you.

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  21. Hello there~

    It’s okay to slow down when you hit something like depression, and it’s a good choice to not rely on pills since that can damage ypu further. Well, i’ve almost hit by depression before, so i don’t know if this will work to you, but i suggest you to find a hobby or reason to keep going. For example, i’ve dodged it before by forcing myself to support my parents and my sibling, so i can keep going.

    That aside, thank you for all translated chapters, your translation is really good compared to most others.

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  22. Thank you for all your hard work. I`m happy to know you’re seeing someone about this. If left alone, it can get bad. Best wishes to you!

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  23. Kind of a dead thread, so I apologize for extending it further, but so many upthread seem to be misunderstanding what clinical depression is all about, as well as what role medication can play. Being bummed out or kind of blue because of life events or disappointment or whatever is not what clinical depression is. Clinical depression is when you experience periods of soul crushing misery that is out of whack with the experiences that supposedly prompt it, oftentimes even triggered by no experiences at all. It’s not a case of someone just being down and they’ll get over it if they get out and about, its a case of a fundamental inability to have any realistic sense of perspective beyond their current state of abject suffering.

    That is where medication can come into the picture, if you so choose. Sometimes talk therapy can give you the tools to regain control of your own perspective again, sometimes not. When not, anti-depressants pull some of the teeth from the clinical depression and allow you to regain some sense of realistic perspective and allow you first hand, lived experience into what your situation actually is, independent of the depressive cycle. Depending on the person, this can sometimes lead to an existential crisis of sorts, since everything they thought was true about themselves and the world no longer seems so true with your perspective freed somewhat from the clinical depression. In my opinion this is why the chance of suicide can rise when people first start taking them, since it can lead to much angst and regret when they reexamine their life choices. In any case, monitoring by a professional is important to guide a person thru this stage, but in the end the process can help change life crushing agony into simple, common, everyday unhappiness. Not a pleasant prospect, admittedly, but better than the crushing agony.

    Sorry for the TLDR.

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  27. Ganbatte onii-chan!!
    I know its hard but you can do it. Just always look at the bright side of life onii-chan. kampai!!

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